So today I managed to finish up my Christmas shopping. Went to Fairview Mall and hit up a bunch of stores looking for gifts. I won't say in detail exactly where I went because I don't want to spoil the day for my family if they read this. (probably won't since this is really only advertised on Twitter as of right now, a device no members of my family use... Well, maybe my little sister. I should really look into that one. Now that I'm thinking of it, it's probably best I don't. Last thing I want to do is interfere in my new to high school sisters personal life. Could be creepy. Or is it? Looks like I'm rambling, I'll move this along.) So I go into the store that specializes in female holding accessories to buy my one sister her present. The nice Jennifer Aniston Jr. looking girl helps me out, we talk for a bit and I get the gift and she wishes me a Merry Christmas. Awesome. Now to go to the store that most teenage boys go to buy games where they can pretend to be army rangers, or Sidney Crosby or whatever game they choose to buy. I was told to pick up a game involving certain characters from a company that rhymes with Wintendo beating each other up for my other sister (I have three sisters in case you're counting. All younger. Still have nightmares of the boy band revolution.). So I ask the guy at the counter and he's a bit of a jerk. Kind of like the comic book guy from the Simpsons, just skinnier. So once I get the "Worst...Question...Ever..." remark from this kid, I just leave to no response and try another store. I'll just tell you that it was Wal-Mart. They have everything. (Wal-Mart sidebar- Have you ever noticed in a Wal-Mart that it might be the single most depressing place on Earth? Always packed with people rushing around, most of the workers apparently have no personality, kids are always screaming, it smells funny and the lines are retardedly long most of the time? That smiley face rollback dude is false advertising!) So I go to the electronic section and the one person with a personality helps me get another game since the game I was told to get doesn't exist. After some witty banter, he wishes me Happy Holidays and I'm on my way to get my 2 year old niece a present. I'll tell you what it is since she can't read. Apparently she wanted a DVD about Tinkerbell or something to do with princesses. So I go to HMV to find one of these DVD's and after I basically make the guy that cut in my place in the line look like a doofus (I'm a bit of a jerk when people are being jerks first), I talk to the nice girl that looks like she endeavours in photography about the movie and no dice. Some more witty banter and we exchange "Merry Christmas'". So I end up back at Wal-Mart in the entertainment section (because malls make me lose my ability to think straight) and instead of the dude with a personality, there's an old lady that has the personality of an empty Big Mac container. So there was no witty banter with the lady that switched bodies with a cardboard container but I did get a "Happy Holidays" from her so I was happy. So shopping was done and I got out of there as fast as possible.
I noticed a few things from being at the mall today during the holiday season. One is that there are a lot of miserable people this time of year. I can understand the frustration of employees during this time of year because as someone that has worked in a grocery store for eleven years, you kind of get mad at all the chaos this time of year brings. I guess all the chaos of all the events these people have to go to involving work parties, family parties, cooking meals, preparing the holidays for the kids etc... can be very stressful. On the flipside of that, I did notice a lot of people were very cheerful with their only frustration being that the ground is mostly green around here this year. It's refreshing to see people actually looking forward to the traditional winter holiday season with cold and snow and all those gimmicks. Personally I like warm weather. I'll take a palm tree and sandy beaches over cold any day!
The main thing that I noticed was the variation of parting comments I got leaving all the stores. Some said "Merry Christmas" and some said "Happy Holidays". I really don't care which one I get. I spend time with my family on the 25th not because of a 2011 year old carpenter-turned-preacher. I do it because that's the time of the year where everything stops for a day and being with your family is all that matters. However on my way home I got to thinking about it. There are people that get offended by having someone say "Merry Christmas" to them? But wait, there are actually people that get offended when people say "Happy Holidays" to them?!?! How can that be?
I remember something my one sister posted on Facebook a couple of weeks ago. It went along the lines of saying "I don't care what you think, I'm saying Merry Christmas to people because that's what I celebrate" or something along those lines. Most people that celebrate Christmas agree with this statement. So for the people that do, I want you to think of this scenario. Let's say a week before Christmas you go to your favourite store. You decide after buying all the gifts and Christmas stuff you needed that with the leftover money you had you were going to buy yourself a nice present for yourself. You go to the checkout and the nice lady does her job. After you pay for it, she wishes you a festive Kwanzaa. What is the first thought in your head right now about what you would say to this woman? Here, let me take a stab in the dark at it. "Thank you but I don't celebrate Kwanzaa". Or maybe it's "What the hell is a Kwanzaa?" (Kwanzaa is a week long celebration held in the United States honoring universal African-American heritage and culture, observed from December 26 to January 1 each year. It features activities such as lighting a candle holder with seven candles[1] and culminates in a feast and gift giving. It was created by Maulana Karenga and was first celebrated in 1966–1967... Yes, I did just take that from Wikipedia!). Then a few hours later you go to the grocery store to buy a turkey, potatoes, stuffing and all that filling Christmas food. You go to the nice cashier lady, pay for your items and guess what she says. "Have a festive Kwanzaa!". Well then, time to go explain that you don't celebrate Kwanzaa again, isn't it? You go home and turn on the TV to unwind from your busy day of shopping and being wished a festive Kwanzaa and you see a remake of the old Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer show. But wait, that's definately not your boy Rudolph. (Warning- This may offend some people. It is not meant to be offensive to anyone, just trying to get creative to prove a point shortly) Nope, this is LeSean the pumped up kicks reindeer. Yes, you read the screen right. It's the same story you all know and love but different. LeSean was not allowed to play with the other reindeer as his kicks weren't fresh enough. Okay, this really doesn't make sense. There not in the North Pole but there in the west end of Baltimore? Is Santa a Ravens fan now or something? Nope because Santa isn't in this film. It's Dashiki Claus. He still gives gifts and all but he looks like a bigger version of Martin Lawrence in a Dashiki. This really sounds like a bad SNL skit but unfortunately, it's not. Okay, there's still a snowstorm but instead of not being able to see, the reindeers kicks don't have good grip on them. Dashiki Claus calls out the reindeer. You know this, right? On Dasher, on Dancer, on Prancer and such. Here it comes... On Tayshaun, On Kobe, On Terrell, On Julius... On Jerell, On Shelton, On Jamarcus, On Lucius?!?! What the...? You just turn off the TV and wonder "why are they shoving this holiday down my throat? Not everybody celebrates it, why the hell is it everywhere?". Your little child/nephew/niece/brother/sister/random kid comes up to you and asks "What kind of candle are we lighting for Kwanzaa? All the other kids at school are lighting Kwanzaa candles?". How hard must it be to convince a child that you do none of these things all their little friends/TV personalities do at this time of year?
I'm assuming this is how people of other beliefs and faiths think at times during Christmas. I could be way off base on this one (and if I am, please comment and let me know). However, think about the examples I gave. Sure, being wished a Merry Christmas by a smiling person who means well isn't that bad. Having Christmas virtually marketed in every medium of entertainment, every shop, every lit up house, as the major topic of discussion everywhere and having young people asking about when Santa Claus is coming when you don't celebrate with the invisible magical fat man who sneaks into their houses and gives the kids toys (Now that I'm thinking about it, Santa should be on Americas Most Wanted. Creepy dude) must be hard for any family that doesn't practice the "traditional" Western society beliefs. I can understand why we should say "Happy Holidays" as it applies to everyone. Saying "Merry Christmas" to people just because it is what you celebrate is sort of an ignorant move if you think about it. "I celebrate this so I'm wishing you it. If you don't like it, screw you!" is basically what you're saying if you say Merry Christmas out of some bizarre pride you have for your beliefs. It's one thing to say it out of practice, it's another to do it because you don't want to change the way you've always done things.
Phew, that's quite a bit of typing for one night! Please feel free to comment, I will reply to them like I do everything else. I should be posting another blog tomorrow, might be something a bit more sporty next time around.
Stay frosty and have a Happy Holiday!
Victor Bast
The One and Only, Dashiki Claus
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